Important Information To Consider After Divorce With Regards To Your Children
Divorce can be a very painful time, both on you and your kids. Unfortunately, children can find it a little harder to cope with and are not very good at expressing their feelings to their parents. This article contains vital information that you need to consider when handling your children after a divorce.
Kids worry too; they may not show this in a way that is obvious, but your divorce will create feelings of insecurity for your children and in order for them to feel secure after divorce, it is a great idea for you ensure that they are kept in a system. That continuity and order is kept in their new home, and they know that despite the fact that their old home has split up and their parents are now living apart, that they are still loved and will have a stable home life to live in. In order to establish continuity you do not need to have an army style setup in your home, but it just means that you should pay attention to activities and ensure that there is a regular routine set up in the house. This can help your child to adjust a lot easier, and feel less insecure.
Keep Your Child Informed About Change
If your child doesn’t know what is happening, then he or she will feel very insecure. Make sure that you take time out to talk with your kids and inform them what is happening. Refrain from using bad words about the other parent. Bitching about the father or the mother to your child will not make them like you anymore. This is a huge mistake that parents face when in a divorce situation.
When you do talk with your child about your ex, make sure that you are honest, but do not criticise them to your child. At the end of the day you both used to share history together and despite the fact of liking the other party now, you do share a child, or children together.
Tips to Talk to Your Child
When you do make changes and talk with your child make sure that you try to bring the other parent and use mediation situation where you can talk with the child with both parents present.
Do not try to blame your ex-partner, and keep a mutual respect in front of your children.
Try not to argue in front of you children with your ex. Avoid phone arguments; do not start gossiping about your ex in front of family members when your children are present. This all helps to create your child to be more insecure.
Try to seek counselling for yourself to try to overcome your feelings of anger and especially if you fear, have grief, guilt or shame. Talking to someone will help you to overcome this, and put it behind you.
When a divorce has happened, it can be very hard to look after yourself, and your kids. Make sure that you do take time to look after your health, Go to doctors’ appointments; take the kids to the dentist, hairdressers and barber shop. If you are not looking after yourself, then you are not looking after your kids either. Make sure that you can motivate yourself and your kids to get out and about and look after yourselves. Remember, when you are happy, so are your kids. Divorce is the start of a new beginning, not the end.
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